Wednesday, March 08, 2006

 

Tab Energy Kills You Dead / The famously toxic retro cola nails women with a new, pink energy drink. Because you love it

Alas, Tab lives on. Because God help us, there is now Tab Energy, a re-engineered, reformulated, rebranded version of the famous '60s blood pollutant that of course tastes nothing like the original and from which they took out the saccharin and swapped in sucrose and tripled the caffeine and added a bunch of synthetic herbs, and are now trotting it out as a specialized energy drink for 'fabulous' (read: anorexic, jittery, L.A.-wannabe) women who care far less about their health than they do about text messaging and what will make a bitchin' mixer for their Stoli.

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